<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Brothers by MaxJensen</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24990514">Brothers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxJensen/pseuds/MaxJensen'>MaxJensen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Timelines [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>13 Reasons Why (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:06:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24990514</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxJensen/pseuds/MaxJensen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 13 REASONS WHY AHEAD!</p><p>It's the night before Clay and Tony drive away into their future, free from their pasts. However, the universe throws one more curveball. Clay starts waking up in different timelines, where someone dead could be alive, or someone alive could be dead, or it could be completely different. He just can't catch a break.</p><p>Formerly called "What's Real and What Isn't?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hannah Baker/Clay Jensen, Hannah Baker/Justin Foley, Jeff Atkins/Clay Jensen, Justin Foley/Clay Jensen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Timelines [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the night before Clay was to leave with Tony to check out the latter's college. The future is scary, but it can't be any worse than what he's been through. He's dealt with murder, mental illness, and loss, especially the love his life. "Hannah, thank you for bringing Justin Foley into my life, even if fucked up things had to happen for it." He knows that Hannah's spirit - er - hallucination, is long gone, but he wanted her to know how much he appreciates what she's caused to happen in his life. He wishes that she and Justin were both alive, and happy, and free from all the bullshit that followed them. Maybe the three of them would have their version of the infamous F.M.L. He wonders what life would've been like if things were normal, if Bryce didn't do what he did, and send Hannah on her path. Nothing would be the same.</p><p>
  <strong>Alternate Timeline</strong>
</p><p>Clay's startled awake by a waffle to the face. "What the fuck? Who the hell is throwing...breakfast at me?" The boy asks, still half asleep and confused. The voice that replied, though, woke him right up.</p><p>"Who else, dumbass? Your amazing older brother. Duh." Clay can't believe what he's hearing and seeing. How is Justin throwing stuff at him? His hallucinations are intangible. Is he breaking down even more?</p><p>"You're a bit early, aren't you? Give me a chance to wake up before you start haunting me."<br/> <br/>Justin looks at him like he's insane. "The fuck are you going on about? Haunting you?"<br/> <br/>"I know it isn't actually you. I know I'm...imagining all this, but I'm going to have to work on it, even if it means saying goodbye for good." Justin just looks at him, bewildered.<br/> <br/>"Dude, you're seriously going to miss me that much? Okay, yes, we're going to college across the country from each other, but we'll talk every day, I promise. You know I can't go 24 hours without talking to you, man. And I know you're the same way." Hallucination Justin shares a reassuring smile and holds out his arms. "Come here, man. I'm gonna miss you too."</p><p>He's only going to disappear when Clay touches him, but Clay needs his privacy to get dressed anyway. Clay gets out of bed and goes to "hug" the hallucination of his brother. What happened next sent chills up and down his body. He made contact. He felt the warmth of Justin's skin, his muscles, the smell of his deodorant and shampoo.</p><p>"Justin?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Reunited</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He couldn't believe it. Clay is <em>feeling</em> Justin, in his arms. Justin starts to let go, but Clay pulls the boy closer to himself, as close as he could manage. "No, not yet. Just...hold me, Justin." Justin doesn't understand why Clay is being so touchy-feely right now, but he doesn't mind. He loves his brother, more than anyone, more than himself. He wraps his arms back against Clay again, and they stay there, keeping each other close.</p>
<p>Clay was afraid to end the hug, thinking this all might be some random, weird mix of a hallucination and a dream that'll end with Justin disappearing again. Fortunately, when they parted, Justin remained in front of him, making him smile. "What is up with you, dork?" Justin asked, confusedly.</p>
<p>"You're ali— um...you're just...I'm glad you're here, that's all." Clay says back, his voice cracking. He'd rather not tell Justin that as of last night, he was dead. He doesn't want to end up back in that place, cuffed to a bed, all alone.</p>
<p>"Where else would I be? Wherever you go, I go. Well, besides college. But I'll visit as much as I can." Justin then takes Clay's hand.</p>
<p>"Clay, you are my hero, you know that? I need you just as much as you need me, and it's torturing me that soon we won't be able to see each other every day. But I'm still your brother and I love you. I always will." </p>
<p>Clay could only smile, struggling to find the right words to say back. He's surprised he's holding it together so well, not having a panic attack at seeing Justin again, alive and looking healthy. "Justin...I...I'm just so glad I rescued you. If I wouldn't have found you there in the streets, who knows what would've ended up happening to you?" He looks into Justin's eyes, and Justin slightly tilts his head. He does that when he's confused, and Clay finds it super adorable, like he's a puppy learning his new name.</p>
<p>"What are you talking about? You found me in the street? What am I, a stray dog?" Clay is visibly confused as well, with Justin having this sudden amnesia.</p>
<p>"You know, after you ran away, and Tony and I went and searched for you? Do you not remember?"</p>
<p>"Clay, I have no idea what you're talking about. And who the hell is Tony?"</p>
<p>All right, I got waffle-slapped awake this morning by my dead brother, yet this is the weirdest thing that's happened so far today. "Tony? Padilla? You know, leather jacket, big hair? Mustang?"</p>
<p>"Doesn't ring a bell. I have no idea who you're talking about."</p>
<p>"What the fuck? Ok ok, I'll show you a picture on my phone. There's no way you wouldn't recognize him." Clay takes out his phone and opens his photos, and there are none with Tony. Weird. He then opens up his contact list, scrolling to the bottom of the list. "No, no no no. What the fuck?" Clay thinks he feels a panic attack coming on, so he tells Justin that he needs some air and he'll be back. He goes outside and catches his breath. "All right, what do I do? How do I figure this out? ...Caleb."</p>
<p>He gets in his car and gets ready to head to the place where Caleb used to train Tony. Clay takes a second to close his eyes and take a breath before driving off. When he reaches the building, he's glad to find Caleb there. He waits until he doesn't seem busy, so he goes to talk to him. "Hey." was all he could manage to say. The taller boy looks at Clay and smiles.</p>
<p>"Hello. Are you here to do some training?" Fuck. This is crazy.</p>
<p>"No, um...would you happen to know a guy named Tony? He's about this tall, drives a Mustang?"</p>
<p>"Sorry man, but I don't know anyone named Tony. Good luck on finding him though." Caleb goes back to his training, and Clay goes back to his car and gets in, wondering what the hell his plan is going to be. His thoughts are interrupted by a knock on his window, followed by a voice.</p>
<p>"Hey, Helmet." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Butterly Effect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"You've heard of the butterfly effect, right? That if a butterfly flaps its wings at just the right time in just the right place. It can cause a hurricane thousands of miles away. It's chaos theory, but see, chaos theory isn't exactly about chaos. It's about how a tiny change in a big system can affect everything." - Hannah Baker</p><p>As you can see, whatever happened to Clay, he woke up in a different timeline. A parallel universe. A universe where both Hannah and Justin are alive. Remember how this all started? Justin took Hannah to the park and took one photo of her. He showed the photo to Bryce, which set off a domino effect, leading to the terrible events that happened. However, one small difference changed everything. Justin deleted the photo, and it didn't spread. Hannah wasn't bullied. Justin and Clay had no reason to be enemies, and they bonded. Justin found safety in Clay when he took Seth's money and ran.</p><p>I'm going to write my version of the events, what I think would've happened if Justin didn't make that small, terrible choice.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"H-Hannah?" Hannah's alive? How is this possible?</p><p>"Uh, you gonna let me in or what?"</p><p>"Oh, sorry." He unlocks the door and she gets in the passenger seat next to him. "You okay Helmet? Why are you looking at me like that?"</p><p>"You're...blonde." Hannah squints at him.</p><p>"Yes, and your name is Clay." Clay looks deeply offended.</p><p>"What's with the sarcasm?"</p><p>"Becaaaause my hair has been like this for the past three months? Did you hit your head when Justin tackled you? I told him to be careful doing that. You're just so...so fragile."</p><p>"Fragile? I'm not fragile." He pouts.</p><p>"I'm just teasing, dude. So, not that I don't enjoy your presence, but why are you here instead of Justin? I thought he was supposed to pick me up." Clay doesn't know why. He can't just tell her that last night they were both six feet underground. Now they're both alive, and Hannah is...happy. He hasn't seen that in a long time.</p><p>"He- he um, overslept, yeah." Hannah has a look on her face. It reminds him of the way Ani's mom looked at him when they were alone at Bryce's house. He shivers.</p><p>"Clay, you do realize that your left eye twitches when you're lying, right?" Well, it can't be <em>that </em>obvious, considering he lied to the cops many, many times throughout high school.</p><p>"What? No, it doesn't."</p><p>"Uh-huh. Helmet, what's going on?" He doesn't know what to do.</p><p>"I- I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand." She reaches over and grabs his hand.</p><p>"Hey, we've been through everything together. You know I'll understand."</p><p>"I appreciate that, Hannah, but this is something way bigger than what we've dealt with. I just need some time, and then I will tell you everything. I promise." She nods her head and gives him a smile. Wow, he misses that smile. Before he knows it, he starts to lean toward her, wanting to kiss her.</p><p>"Clay, what the hell are you doing?" She looked <em>pissed.</em></p><p>Shit. Shit. Shit. "Fuck. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." Way to fuck it up again, Clay.</p><p>"You don't know what came over you? Way to be a dick."</p><p>"Hannah, wait. I can explain." She stops and turns to him.</p><p>"Then explain. Why'd you make a move on me?" It's impossible to explain everything to her, without her thinking he's lost his mind.</p><p>"I...I um..."</p><p>She gets annoyed and opens the door. "Fuck this. You're lucky I'm not telling them about this." Them?</p><p>Clay decides to drive to the nearby cemetery to take a walk and cool off, and to figure out what the fuck is going on with this place. <em>How the hell did I get here? Everything is so...different. What else changed?</em> His answer was confirmed when a gravestone caught his eye. "No, no, no no no no." He crouches down to get a closer look, and breaks down all over again.</p><p>Tony Padilla</p><p>2000 - 2017</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Edit (7/7/20): Changed some dialogue to not contradict a later chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Repurcussions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Tony...no... Why? How?" Clay could hear the beating of his heart in his chest and see his vision going blurry. His legs feel like jello and he falls to his knees. He's having another panic attack. He can't breathe, feeling like he's about to die. At least he's already in the cemetery. Saves them the trouble.</p><p>"Clay! Oh shit, Clay!" He could hear his name being called, but he can't make out the voice. The rushing of his blood and the pounding of his chest drowned it out. The voice got closer. "Hey, come here. I got you." He could feel arms wrap around him from behind, pulling him into the person's chest. "Shhh, it'll be okay. You're just having another panic attack. Breathe." Clay struggles to catch his breath, but eventually calms down enough to turn to him. Clay takes over the hugging this time as he sobs into his the guy's shoulder. "I got you, I promise. What's going on? What happened?"</p><p>"You won't believe me," Clay said between sobs, "it'll sound batshit fucking insane." The other boy ruffled Clay's hair.</p><p>"You won't sound crazy, Clay. You can tell me anything, you know that." Clay hesitated.</p><p>"Even that you're supposed to be dead?"</p><p>The question took him by surprise. "I'm supposed to be dead? What does that even mean?" Clay realizes how crazy this sounds and stops himself before someone throws him back into that place where he was tied down and drugged.</p><p>"Nothing, don't worry about it."</p><p>"Um, no. That's not how it works. When something is bothering you, you tell me. Try to help me understand."</p><p><em>You know what? Fuck it, </em>he thought. "Hannah Baker was supposed to die two years ago. A photo of her was supposed to be shown to the wrong person and then spread around the school, setting off a chain of events that sent her on a terrible path. We all were supposed to end up at Jessica Davis' party that September. I was supposed to upset Hannah, and she was supposed to tell me to fuck off and leave, and Sheri was supposed to drive her home, and accidentally knock over a stop sign, causing you to get into a wreck and fucking die!" He looks at Jeff, and he is understandably stunned. He nods at Clay to keep going. "It wasn't like this last night. You, Hannah, and Justin were dead. My friends and I were going to leave this fucked up town and go to college and get our lives together. The last thing I remember before falling asleep last night was thanking Hannah for bringing my friends and me, especially Justin, together. You think I'm fucking losing it, right?"</p><p>"No, I believe you, Clay. Always. Now, what happened to Justin?" Clay doesn't know where to start, and tries not to choke up.</p><p>"Justin, he...he didn't like me in the beginning. He was the one who took the photo of Hannah that Bryce Walker spread, causing the chain reaction. Hannah recorded a tape for each of us in the story, each of us who hurt her in some way before she...died. Justin was the subject of Tape 1. I had a tape too, Tape 6, but she wasn't blaming me. She was blaming herself for telling me to go away when she was fucked up. The rules said to listen to all the tapes, then pass them on to the next subject on the list. Because I had no secrets to hide, some of the people on the tapes, including Justin, wanted me out of the way, worried that I'll tell everyone what they did, and he fucking hated me. After more shit went down, he took off and lived on the streets for months taking heroin and doing sex work to survive, until Tony and I found him and brought him to my house. I hid him in my room for weeks, detoxing him and trying to come up with a plan, until my dad caught him, then he and my mom told him he could stay with us as long as he needs to, and later asked him if he wanted to be adopted. Jeff, we really fucking bonded. We would do anything for each other, absolutely anything. During prom...he fainted. He never came back home. Never graduated. He got diagnosed with HIV which progressed to AIDS, and I had to watch him slowly suffer in the hospital. He asked me to hold his hand until...until..." Clay lost it, crying into Jeff's shoulder.</p><p>"Oh my god, Clay. Holy shit, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you've been through." He held his friend for a while, letting him cry, until Clay wiped his tears and looked at him.</p><p>"Jeff, what the hell am I going to do?" Jeff smiled and kissed Clay on the top of his head.</p><p>"We figure this out. Together."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Road Trip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Original Timeline</strong>
</p><p><em>'</em> <em>Cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset</em><br/><em>But I can't help from asking are you bored yet?</em><br/><em>And if you're feelin' lonely you should tell me</em><br/><em>Before this ends up as another memory</em><br/><em>Will you tell the truth so I don't have to lie</em><br/><em>Will you tell the truth so I don't have to lie</em></p><p>Clay wakes up to <em>Are You Bored Yet? </em>by Wallows playing on the car radio. He doesn't remember falling asleep; did he pass out? Wait, this car isn't his. It's a...Mustang. "Morning, sleepyhead."</p><p>Clay turns to the driver. "Tony!" He reaches over and pulls his friend into a tight hug. They were on the highway, presumably on their way to Nevada to see Tony's school.</p><p>"Whoa, whoa! Easy, man. Trying to kill us?"</p><p><em>I don't need you dead in both timelines. </em>Clay thought to himself. "I'm sorry, I'm just glad you're here with me, that's all." Tony looks at him and puts his hand over the latter's hand, giving it a squeeze.</p><p>"Don't worry, kid. You've been through enough. I'm not leaving you anytime soon, you hear me?" Clay nods and smiles, but his smile quickly faded. How'd he get back here?</p><p>"Did I um, talk in my sleep?" Clay asked nervously.</p><p>"Just a little bit. I heard Justin's name. You okay?" Oh, Justin... please don't be just a dream.</p><p>"Yeah, I think so. I just miss him." Tony gave his hand another squeeze.</p><p>"We all do. He's in a better place now, trust me." He suddenly gets a sad look on his face, then slows to a stop on the side of the road.</p><p>"What's up, Tony?" Clay asks, worried.</p><p>"Just...take this." He reaches into his pocket and takes out his Walkman. Haven't seen that in a while. He then hands Clay a tape.</p><p>"What's this?" Clay puts the tape into the Walkman and the headphones over his ears. He takes a deep breath and hits Play.</p><p>
  <em>Hey, Clay. It's Justin. If you're hearing this, it means that I'm gone. I'm giving this to Tony to pass onto you in case I don't make it.</em>
</p><p>"Tony..." Clay says with a crack in his voice. His friend puts his hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. </p><p>
  <em>Clay, there's something you should know. Lately, I haven't been feeling right. I've been so tired lately, and so hot, and feeling sick all the time, and I have these marks all over my body. I figured it was just drug withdrawal, but I wanted to be sure, so I went to the doctor.</em>
</p><p>There was a pause, a hesitation in his voice.</p><p>
  <em>When I was homeless on the streets, before you found me, I had to make money to survive and buy heroin to numb the pain. I let...I let other guys... do things to me to earn enough money to stay alive. It was fucking horrible, Clay, but I had no other choice. I hurt everyone in my life. I couldn't just...come home and go back to school like everything was fine. I couldn't stand the thought of having to see the pain in their faces. </em>
</p><p>Clay feels wetness in his eyes. He looks at Tony and gestures for him to hold his hand, and Tony does, squeezing it tightly.</p><p>
  <em>After I got checked out by the doctor, I was diagnosed with HIV, and they told me that there's not a good chance of me getting through this. You're hearing this now, so, I guess they were right. The reason that you're hearing this after I'm gone is that...I'm scared. I'm scared to say to your face that I'm sick and about to fucking die.</em>
</p><p>Clay could hear it in his voice; Justin is crying now, and so is he.</p><p>
  <em> Clay, I can't look at you while I say this, because seeing you upset is the most heartbreaking thing in the fucking world. When I see you cry, it makes me want to hold you, and cry with you, and tell you that it's all going to be okay. I act like this tough protective guy, but the truth is, I'm just as broken. I'm a coward and I'm broken. What I want you to know is...is that I'm not upset with you for anything. I get why you pushed me away. You, for whatever reason, decided to save me, and take me home, and take care of me, and ask me to be your brother. I wasn't there for you like I should've been. I've been too busy dealing with my own shit, that I wasn't the brother that I should've been. Clay Jensen, I hope you know that I love you. I may be afraid of a lot of things, but that's the one thing I'm not scared to admit. I love you. And I always will. Thank you for being my little brother. Thank you for being my hero. Thank you... for everything. I'm sorry. I love you. Goodbye.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIgmyE5Juzw">Are You Bored Yet? - Wallows</a>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Don't Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clay feels a lump in his throat, making it hard for him to speak. Tony breaks the silence. "I respected his boundaries and didn't listen to the tape, but judging by how fucked up you look right now, I'm guessing it wasn't happy."</p>
<p>Clay manages to speak up. "R-right." It's hard for Tony to see his friend like that again; Clay didn't deserve all of this. All he wants is to do the right thing and save everyone, but the world still manages to crash down around him.</p>
<p>"Well, I'm in no rush. Do you want me to go take a walk and give you some space?"</p>
<p>"No, don't go. Don't let go of my hand."</p>
<p>"Hey, I won't, kiddo, I promise." Tony thinks back to that dreadful day at the hospital.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The nurse came into the waiting room and gave everyone the unfortunate news. Before he knew it, he ran like hell to the hospital room to hold Clay, but stopped outside the door and leaned against the wall, partly because the family needed time to grieve, and partly because he couldn't bear to see his friend in so much pain. He's seen pain in Clay before, but he can't even imagine what he'd see if he looked at him right now. He thought Jessica's reaction was heartbreaking enough, until he heard Clay's screams.</p>
<p>"No! I'm not letting go of him! Don't you fucking take him away from me!"</p>
<p>"Honey, you have to..."</p>
<p>"Mom, I need him..."</p>
<p>"I know, baby. I know. But he's in a better place now. He's not in pain anymore."</p>
<p>He could tell when Clay finally let go of his brother, because of the wails coming from him muffled into Mrs. Jensen's shoulder.</p>
<p>Tony slid down to the ground and lost it, crying into his knees. After a few minutes, he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. It was Zach.</p>
<p>"He'll be okay, Tony," Zach said to him, also in tears. "we all will." Tony and Zach barely even looked at one another before today, but Tony is glad that he's with him right now. He needed it.</p>
<p>"I know, I know. I just...why him? We've all done terrible shit, and we're paying for it. But what the fuck did Clay do? He wasn't even one of the reasons Hannah killed herself. He's a good fucking person! He wouldn't hurt anybody if they didn't deserve it! He's suffering just as much as the rest of us, if not worse..."</p>
<p>"I don't know man, but we have to be there for him. I love him, and Alex, and Jess, and you, and the rest of these fucked up but amazing people. That's all we have. We have to love each other. Justin would want us to."</p>
<p>Tony rested his head on Zach's shoulder.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Tony?" He's taken back to the present when Clay calls his name.</p>
<p>"Yeah? Oh, sorry. What did you say?"</p>
<p>"I said I'm ready to keep going."</p>
<p>Tony smiles and reaches over, kissing Clay on his forehead. "Then let's go. You hungry? There's a Chinese restaurant not too far from here."</p>
<p>Clay nods. "Sounds good to me. What? Why are you looking at me like that?"</p>
<p>Tony just laughs and shakes his head. "I just hope you're gonna eat it all this time. Remember the day you first listened to your tape? I took you to Monet's to get some food in you and you abandoned the sandwich that I paid for because you wanted to go play psychic." Clay just gasps, looking like shocked Pikachu. Is that supposed to mean he's offended?</p>
<p>"Okay then, Yoda." He did not just say that.</p>
<p>"Excuse me? I can easily just kick your skinny ass out of this car." He looks at Clay, and Clay looks scared out his mind, causing Tony, and soon the both of them to lose it and laugh their butts off. He needed to hear his laugh again these days. Clay glanced at the rear-view mirror and he saw Justin sitting in the back seat. He smiled at Clay, causing him to smile back. "What's that for?" Tony asked him.</p>
<p>"Nothing." his friend said, still smiling as he lets go of Tony's hand. <em>I'll see you again soon, Justin. I promise.</em></p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I'm Not From Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Alternate Timeline</strong>
</p><p>Clay once again wakes up in his and Justin's bedroom. It's trippy as hell, and he hopes he could learn to control it, or at least get used to the sudden switching. He groggily sits up and sees Justin sitting in his bed. He smiles at the sight until he notices what he's holding. The Walkman. How the hell does Justin have it? Did it switch over with him? He all but leaps out of his skin when Justin is suddenly standing in front of him.</p><p>"Clay, what the fuck?" Shit.</p><p>"Justin, I..." Justin has a look of confusion and what looks to be a little anger on his face.</p><p>"Why is my voice on this tape, Clay? I didn't record this." </p><p>"Justin, calm down. I'll try to explain the best that I could." Justin sits next to him on the bed and gestures at him to continue.</p><p>"Okay okay. Remember a few years ago, when you first took Hannah to the park?" Justin nods. "Everything that happened after that night...that Clay you knew...he's not...me. Not until I woke up in his body yesterday morning." There he goes again with the confused puppy face.</p><p>"You're not making any sense, Clay."</p><p>"I'm trying to, Justy. It's confusing enough for me."</p><p>Justin grabs his hand. "Sorry, keep going."</p><p>"I'm from a different timeline, or something. I don't know what it's called, but it makes the most sense. In my version of events, you took a humiliating picture of Hannah and later showed it to Bryce, and he grabbed your phone and spread it."</p><p>"What the fuck? Bryce Walker? Are you out of your mind? Dammit, man. If I didn't just hear my own voice on that radio...thing, I wouldn't believe you."</p><p>"To be honest, I don't know where my mind is anymore. You didn't mean for it to go that way. You just showed the pic to the wrong person and it all went downhill from there. Justin, I don't want to go into detail about what happened after you took that photo, but Hannah was dead in that timeline. So were you and Jeff."</p><p>"God, Clay. I can't even imagine what you've been through. Losing your friends and your boyfriend like that..." That took Clay by surprise.</p><p>"My <em>what? </em>What did you just say?"</p><p>"Uh, nothing. Slip of the tongue, that's all."</p><p>"Justin." He glared at his brother. He did that whenever Justin was hiding something, and it always struck fear into him. He's glad it still works.</p><p>"Fuck. I said boyfriend. Jeff...is your boyfriend."</p><p>"How the fuck is Jeff my boyfriend? I'm not bi."</p><p>"Well, maybe you just didn't know you liked boys yet. Hold on, I want to show you something." Justin grabs his phone and scrolls through his photos, and stops at one. It's...Clay...dancing with Jeff. Clay looks really happy. "Somewhere along the way, this version of Clay felt things with Jeff and it turned into something beautiful. I'd be lying if I were to say I didn't cry like a baby when I watched you meet eyes with Jeff and meet him in the middle of the room. It's like you've always sorta known, but wasn't certain. But when that song came on, and you locked eyes, it's like something inside you just clicked."</p><p>"The Night We Met." </p><p>"That would be the one. How'd you know?"</p><p>"Hannah and I danced to that song, in my timeline. Jeff actually pushed me for months to get with her. Funny how that turned out."</p><p>"You makin' moves on my girlfriend?" If Clay had water in his mouth, he'd do a spit take. "What? Relax, it was in a different timeline, dumbass. I'm kidding."</p><p>"Yeah, about that..."</p><p>"What? Wait a minute. Hannah seemed pissed yesterday after you took the car. CLAY!" Clay jumped back, looking like he wanted to run away.</p><p>"Well I didn't mean to! Old feelings just came back to me. I didn't know she was your fucking girlfriend. I had just woken up in an alternate universe and my mind was all over the place."</p><p>"That's the weirdest fucking excuse I've ever heard, but there's proof right there on that tape. You're right, you didn't know. I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's OK, Justin." Clay is now the one to hold his brother's hand. "You have no idea how much I missed you. When you held out your arms to hug me yesterday, I thought you were another one of my hallucinations. Long story. I thought you were going to just vanish, but...you didn't. I touched you and I nearly fucking cried right then because that was the first time I've felt you since I held your hand at your deathbed."</p><p>"Fuck, Clay. I'm so sorry." Justin reaches his arm over his brother and holds him, pulling him tight against him. "I'm real now, not a ghost. I'm here." He kisses Clay's hand.</p><p>"I love you, Justin."</p><p>"I love you too, Clay."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Night We Met</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>FLASHBACK</strong>
</p><p><strong>Alternate Timeline - </strong> <strong>December 9th, 2016</strong></p><p>It was the night of the dance. Clay decided to stay home and read comic books until he falls asleep. He didn't get out much, as he wasn't really a social person; all he had was his small group of friends that didn't really know each other, besides Hannah and Justin. Jeff failed to convince him this time, and Clay thought he was in the clear until Justin barged into the room.</p><p>"Hey, what the fuck?" Clay screamed as he realized who just nearly broke his door down.</p><p>"Hello to you too, Jensen! C'mon, pick out an outfit, you have ten minutes."</p><p>"Outfit for what? You can't just barge into my room like that, Justin. What if I was changing or something?"</p><p>"You didn't lock the door, and you're going to the dance."</p><p>"Oh no. I'm not going to the dance."</p><p>"Yes, you are, even if I have to drag you there in your pajamas." Clay realizes that there's no way in hell Justin would let him out of this.</p><p>"I...I don't even have a date. I'll look like a dork being there alone."</p><p>"You won't be alone, you have me and Hannah. And isn't your friend Jeff going to be there?"</p><p>"I don't know, we're kind of on weird terms right now. He's been acting a little strange around me. Sad, almost, but he won't tell me what's wrong."</p><p>"You need me to get it out of him? I'll beat anyone's ass for you, you know that." Clay isn't sure how he feels about that. He loves that Justin is so protective over him, but on the other hand, does Justin think he can't handle himself? Oh, who is he kidding?  "Hello? Jensen?"</p><p>"Yeah, sorry. Um, I'm fine, don't worry. Jeff and I are all good, we just need to talk about...things."</p><p>"Okay. Now get dressed, we can't be late. Pick something out or I will."</p>
<hr/><p>Clay arrives at the dance with Justin. He just wants to turn around and go home, but they went in Justin's car, and Justin wouldn't let him leave anyway.</p><p>"Oh my goodness, Clay! You look so nice!" Jessica Davis says, walking up to the guys, arm-in-arm with Hannah.</p><p>"You can thank me for that, Jess," Justin says. "he took forever to decide on something."</p><p>"What, are you saying I can't pick out a nice outfit?" Clay says to Justin, clearly offended.</p><p>"I'm kidding, man. You're such a downer, lighten up a bit, would ya?" Justin turns to Hannah. "Now, my lady, would you like to dance?"</p><p>"Hell yes, I would love to!" Hannah says with a smile. "You gonna be ok, Jess?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go find Alex. See you guys later." Jess says and waves.</p><p>"Shit, Clay. I'm sorry. I don't wanna leave you alone." Justin says sadly.</p><p>"It's all good. I'll let you guys dance. I'll join you soon, all right?"</p><p>"You sure?" Justin replies.</p><p>"Yeah, no worries."</p><p>Justin gently rubs Clay's shoulder and leaves with Hannah to the dance floor. Clay decides he's not in the mood to dance or socialize, so he walks to the bleachers on the side of the room and sits down. He takes out his phone to play a game when it's taken from him. He looks up at the thief, and it's Tony.</p><p>"No cell phones tonight. This is a dance, not a house party."</p><p>"Rude, much? Why is everyone trying to force me to talk to people? I don't even want to be here."</p><p>"Because I care about you, Clay, and so do your other friends. We don't want you cooped up in your room all your life reading comic books."</p><p>"How'd you know about that? Did Justin tell you? Damn, he might as well tell the whole school that I'm a nerd."</p><p>"Um, Clay? I'm saying this out of love. It's no surprise that you're a nerd. But who the fuck cares? I don't give a shit that people know I'm gay. Hell, I look like I came straight out of an 80s greaser movie." That made Clay laugh. "Now if I give your phone back, will you just keep it in your pocket and at least try not to look bored?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. Fine, I promise." Tony hands his phone back while giving him a glare. </p><p>"Right. Well, I'll go back to the DJ booth. See you later." He gives Clay a hug before walking off.</p><p>The upbeat rock music stops and changes to a love song. Clay knows this one. The Night We Met.</p><p>
  <em>I am not the only traveler</em>
</p><p>Clay looks across the room and spots him. Jeff.</p><p>
  <em>Who has not repaid his debt</em>
</p><p>He looks sad and alone. Just like Clay.</p><p>
  <em>I've been searching for a trail to follow again</em>
</p><p>Clay doesn't want him to feel alone.</p><p>
  <em>Take me back to the night we met</em>
</p><p>Jeff meets his gaze and smiles. He stands up.</p><p>
  <em>And then I can tell myself</em>
</p><p>Clay stands up as well. They start to walk towards each other.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell I'm supposed to do</em>
</p><p>They meet in the middle of the room.</p><p>"Hi." Jeff says to Clay, with tears in his eyes. Clay wants to say something back, but it feels like his throat closes up. Jeff is so...handsome. He's never thought that about a guy before. What the hell is this? He just wants to... "Clay, what's wro-"</p><p>Clay's body takes over as he leans in and kisses Jeff. It feels like something he's always wanted, but was too afraid to explore. But right now, in this moment, it's all he wanted. To be here, kissing Jeff Atkins in the middle of the dance floor.</p><p>"Jeff..."</p><p>"Clay, It's okay. Just close your eyes." Jeff kisses him back, and it's like the most magical feeling in the world. Clay then puts his head on Jeff's shoulder, and they slow dance. He opens his eyes and sees Justin and Hannah watching them, with huge smiles on their faces. Justin almost looks like he's crying. Clay will never let him hear the end of this.</p><p>They danced like there was no tomorrow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I Can Explain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Original Timeline - Present</strong>
</p>
<p>Clay must’ve fallen asleep next to Justin, because he woke up to the familiar snoring beside him. Maybe Clay asked him to sleep in the same bed because it would make the younger boy feel protected. He’s felt vulnerable ever since he lost <em>his</em> Justin. This… alternate Justin isn’t the same guy that he knew, but his older brother clearly loves him; he smiles knowing that in no matter what universe, they are meant to be brothers and their bond is unbreakable.</p>
<p>But something seems off; this isn’t his bed or Justin’s. Where the hell are they? He looks around and sees a key with a tag attached to it on the nightstand. A motel? It can’t be…</p>
<p>“Hey Clay, the shower is getting cold so you should hurry and— oh my god.” Clay turns to the voice and sees Tony standing in the bathroom doorway.</p>
<p>“Tony...”</p>
<p>“Clay, did I drink too much last night, or is that...?”</p>
<p>“It’s Justin... I can explain.” Clay gets out of the bed, takes Tony’s arm and they go outside.</p>
<p>“You better start ‘splainin right the fuck now, Clay! We buried him three weeks ago!”</p>
<p>“Jeez! Lower your voice, Ricky Ricardo!” Tony isn’t amused. “All right, I’ll try to explain as best as I could. basically, starting a few days ago, I’ve been going back and forth between universes. This one, and a universe where Justin didn’t take the photo of Hannah that led to her death, so they are both alive. I just don’t know how the fuck he came back with me this time.”</p>
<p>“This is fucking insane. Well, we have to get him back to his timeline. You’re lucky we’re miles away from Crestmont, because if <em>anyone </em>we know sees him—”</p>
<p>“I know, I know. I can’t control it, it’s random. And why are you so quick to believe me, especially after you’ve seen me lose it multiple times?” Clay tries not to think about that place.</p>
<p>“You’re seriously asking me that when I just saw our dead friend suddenly alive and healthy sleeping next to you?”</p>
<p>“Touché. We need to figure this out.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we do. Um, Clay? In this other timeline... how am I doing?” Clay looks at him with a sad look in his eyes. “What…”, Tony says with a hint of worry in his voice.</p>
<p>“Tony... you died in 2017, I just don’t know how, and nobody even knew who I was talking about, for some reason, when I was asking around for you. I found your tombstone at the cemetery and had a panic attack. Luckily Jeff found me there and was able to calm me down.”</p>
<p>“Shit… and it makes sense that Jeff is alive too.” Clay makes eye contact with his friend and blushes. “What are you blushing about over there?”</p>
<p>“Turns out that the alternate me has a thing for guys, and is in a relationship with him.”</p>
<p>“No. Fucking. Way. How the hell did that happen?”, Tony says with a laugh.</p>
<p>“Not a clue,” Clay says back, also laughing. “Hannah and Justin got together after they hung out at the park the night that the timelines split, so I guess Jeff had no reason to push me to get with her.</p>
<p>“And <em>you </em>ended up dating him? Man, all this talk about you jumping through timelines and bringing people back from the dead, yet <em>this</em> is the craziest thing I’ve heard so far.”</p>
<p>“Tell me about it. I thought this was over, and I was working on accepting that Justin was gone, but now...”</p>
<p>“Clay, everything happens for a reason. You and Justin have something special, and fate brought you together again. I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt when you woke up in this alternate universe. How long were you there anyway?"</p>
<p>“I’m...I’m not sure. I switched back and forth a couple of times. I don’t know what happens to this body when my mind is in the other me's body. When I woke up in the car right before listening to the tape that Justin left me, that was me. The last thing I remember before switching back to the other timeline was talking about getting something to eat.”</p>
<p>“So <em>that’s</em> why you randomly hugged me and almost caused us to get in a car accident.”</p>
<p>“Sorry about that. I was just glad to see you again. Having Hannah, Justin and Jeff alive again was great, but you were there for me in this timeline after Hannah and Jeff died and before Justin and I became friends. You’re my fucking hero, Tony.”</p>
<p>“Claydoh, we’ve been best friends since we were kids. You needed me then and you need me now. And I need you too. Believe me, if I could go back with you and Justin I would, but you know I can’t. In whatever timeline you end up in, I just want you to know that I love you and I always have, and I always will. What we have, what we <em>had, </em>that was real. That was <em>u</em><em>s</em><em>.”</em></p>
<p>“I love you too.” Clay hugs his friend tightly. He’s cried enough these past few days, so it’s getting easier to hold it in. He lets go of him and smiles. “Shall we head back inside?” They go inside and sit on the bed opposite the one Justin is in.</p>
<p>“Is he seriously still sleeping?”</p>
<p>“Trust me, dude sleeps like a log. It was impossible to wake him up for breakfast most mornings so I just leave him be.” Clay gets in the other bed and attempts to shake his brother awake. “Yo, Justin.”</p>
<p>“Wha... What? Dude, I’m tired. Fuck off,” Justin mumbles while shooing Clay away.</p>
<p>“Okay, dick. I’d let you sleep but we’re not exactly in our room right now.”</p>
<p>“The fuck do you mean?” Justin sits up and looks around. “Whoa, what’s going on? Where are we? Why is Bruno Mars here?”</p>
<p>Clay tries not to laugh after hearing Tony insultingly mumble something in Spanish.</p>
<p>“Bro, don’t freak out. We’re in my timeline.”</p>
<p>“In your <em>what? </em>How?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. But we need to find a way to get you back. Luckily we’re far from home so we don’t have to worry about our friends seeing you. Oh, this is Tony.”</p>
<p>“Tony... Yeah, I remember you asking about him.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Justin,” Tony says as he hugs him. “it’s so nice hearing your voice again.”</p>
<p>Justin seems nervous, as he doesn’t know Tony, but he hugs him back anyway. “Sorry about the Bruno comment, man. I can get a little snarky.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I noticed. I’ll let that one pass. Now, we need to start figuring this shit out," Tony says and looks over at Clay, who seems to be out of it. "You ok, Clay?"</p>
<hr/>
<p><em>"Justin didn't tell you at all where he was going? So he just up and left without saying a word to you?" Hannah asks Clay</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Hannah?", Clay says. </p>
<p>"Hannah? What about Hannah?", Justin says back to him. </p>
<p>"You didn't hear that?" </p>
<p>"Hear what, dude?" </p>
<p>"Shit. I think I'm seeing glimpses of the other timeline...through the other Clay."</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A Second Chance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Justin, Hannah’s looking for you,” Clay says to his brother.</p><p>“She is? How do you know?”, Justin replies.</p><p>“I saw her through the other Clay’s eyes. I think you somehow switched over with me without leaving a copy of yourself behind.”</p><p>“We need to get back there ASAP. Can you try to switch over manually?”</p><p>Clay closes his eyes and tries to will himself to switch back to the other timeline, to no avail.</p><p>“Nothing. Why the hell is this happening? Why can’t I just have a normal life?”</p><p>“Clay, dude, I think life is giving you a second chance. I can tell that we still loved each other in this world.”</p><p>“Not all the time. We hated each other in the beginning.”</p><p>“Really? Why?”</p><p>“I’m gonna go take a walk and let you two talk. Stay inside, we can’t risk having anyone see Justin,” Tony says to them. He ruffles Clay’s hair, making him smile, before he leaves. Clay takes Justin’s hand and holds it, his smile turning into a frown.</p><p>“Justin, remember when I said that this world’s version of you took a photo of Hannah at the park?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“The next day at school, you showed it to Bryce, and he spread it around, and...everyone thought Hannah was a slut. I know you didn’t mean to hurt her, it just got out of hand and it led to her death. Many of us played a small part in hurting her, and it was all just too much for her, so she… she…”</p><p>“Oh my god. Clay…” Justin moved to the other bed next to Clay and hugged him.</p><p>“Hannah recorded tapes for each of us; thirteen tapes in all, and you were the first one. She recorded one for me too, though she was just apologizing to me because she felt that she didn’t deserve me, but she wanted me to know the truth. I think I could’ve done more.”</p><p>“So you had nothing to lose…”</p><p>“Exactly. Most of the others on the tapes fucking hated me because I had evidence that could hurt them if I exposed it. Some of them just acted like they were my friends, but you just wanted me dead. And you stole my bike.”</p><p>“Seriously? Damn, I was a dick. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I forgave you. Plus, it’s not <em>your</em> fault. He was another version of you.”</p><p>“I know, I know… so... what was that part about me being homeless?”</p><p>“Your mom’s boyfriend… you took his money and ran off and lived on the streets for a while. That’s… when you got sick. Tony and I found you, and I hid you in my house until my dad caught you after someone broke in, and he and my mom let you stay.”</p><p>“Wow. In my timeline, we were best friends because of Hannah, and I went straight to you and stayed with you after I took off. It’s crazy how different our lives were.” That made Clay smile. He wishes he lived that other timeline, getting to know Justin longer, with no hostility between them. Just... love.</p><p>“Yeah, it is pretty crazy. Anyway, weeks later, I showed up to Bryce’s house with a gun, and you found me and stopped me from doing something insanely stupid and took me home. Him spreading that photo seriously fucked everything up.”</p><p>“Clay did… did he hurt you?”</p><p>“Once or twice, but only because I kept starting shit with him. I don’t make the smartest decisions.”</p><p>“Motherfucker. I’m gonna fucking kill him.”</p><p>“You don’t have to worry about that. He’s dead too. And so are you, remember? So even if he was alive, how would we explain that you came back to life?”</p><p>“He’s dead? Bastard. Clay, that other version of me fucked up your life. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”</p><p>“Yeah, we’ve been through a lot of shit, especially you and I. But we loved each other, just like you and your timeline’s Clay. Maybe you were right about life giving me a second chance. I just… need to learn how to control it and get you back to yours. What exactly happened to your Clay when I left his body the last time?”</p><p>“He doesn’t have a clue what’s going on; he thinks he’s just been blacking out or something. Jeff took him home after you had your panic attack at the cemetery. I caught them making out in Jeff’s car, and that was before I told you that Jeff is his boyfriend, so I guess you had switched back here at some point before then.”</p><p>“I still can’t believe that I’m fucking bisexual in that timeline. And Jeff of all people? I thought he was straight.”</p><p>“Apparently neither of you are. You guys are really cute together. It’s adorable when you randomly kiss each other.” Clay finds himself blushing again, and it makes Justin laugh. Clay’s smile fades. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I… I miss this. I miss the two of us just joking around and being dorks and making each other laugh until we can’t breathe. I know you’re not the same Justin, I just…” His voice cracks.</p><p>“I know that, Clay. I know that I can never replace the Justin that you loved. Nobody can. But I will do my best to be there for you. To love you like he did, even if you’re not the Clay I know.” Clay smiled again.</p><p>“Thank you, Justy. I don’t know if I will ever understand why the universe is pulling this crap, but I’m glad to have you by my side again. You...other Justin... was the one who made me feel safe at night. I slept peacefully every night knowing that he was there to protect me if someone tried to hurt me. Sometimes I feel like I wasn’t there for him enough or I pushed him away. He needed me, and all I did was act out. Instead of asking me to pay attention to him, or tell me off, he just tried to help me. I couldn’t ask for a better brother. No offense.”</p><p>“None taken. He really sounds like a good dude. I wish I could thank him for taking care of you like that.” Justin yawns. “Now, I’m fucking tired. I’d like to get back to sleep, after I was ever so rudely woken up earlier.”</p><p>“Shut up, asshole,” Clay says to him, laughing and smacking him with a pillow. I should get some rest too, maybe I’ll switch back, hopefully with you.”</p><p>“Sounds good to me.”</p><p>“Hey, Justy?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Could you hold me until I fall asleep, please?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. I’ll do anything for you.”</p><p>“Funny, I just about said the same thing to my Justin.”</p><p>“Well, we both immensely care about our Clays. Now, shall we get to sleep?”</p><p>Clay and Justin try to get some more rest, Clay feeling protected in Justin’s arms. It’s the most comforting sleep he’s gotten since before he lost his brother.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Let's Be Kids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Thank god, I’m back in </em> <em>our room</em> <em> again, </em> <em>in the alternate timeline</em> <em>. Am I finally getting the hang of </em> <em>this</em> <em>?</em></p><p>It’s dark, darker than usual. Clay looks at the clock. 3 a.m. He’s alone in the bed.</p><p>“Justin?”</p><p>No reply. He doesn’t hear Justin snoring or breathing in his bed. He gets up and goes to it. He’s not there... something feels wrong. Clay grabs his phone to call him but it doesn’t turn on.</p><p>“What… what the fuck is going on?”</p><p>He then walks to the door to leave, but the knob doesn’t budge.</p><p>“No, not again…”</p><p>He walks into the bathroom and washes his face. He looks at himself in the mirror and… it’s <em>that </em>again<em>.</em> That… that thing. That thing that has<em> his</em> face, but an <em>evil </em>smile. That fucking smile.</p><p>“No…”</p><p>Clay backs away and tries to leave, but the bathroom door is now locked as well. He shuts his eyes and tries to wake up from this nightmare.</p><p>“Clay, dude.” Justin’s voice.</p><p>Clay opens his eyes expecting to see his brother there. He’s there, but only in the mirror, standing behind his reflection that is still staring with the spine-chilling smile on its face.</p><p>“Justin! Help me!” Clay tries to get Justin’s attention, but he can’t hear him.</p><p>“Yo, are you okay man?”, Justin says to Clay’s reflection. It slowly turns around and looks at his brother.</p><p>“...Clay?” In the blink of an eye, the creature’s hands are around Justin’s neck, shoving him against the wall and strangling him.</p><p>“No! Justin!” Clay bangs against the mirror, desperately trying to get through and save his brother.</p><p>“Du...dude...please...stop…” The creature tightens his grip around his neck. Justin begs it to stop, struggling to stay conscious. But it’s too late.</p><p>“Justin… no…”</p><p>Suddenly, Clay is in the creature’s place. He feels Justin’s throat between his hands. He did this.</p><p>“Oh my god. J...Justin…” He lets go of his neck, and Justin limply falls to the ground. <em>What the fuck did I </em><em>just</em><em> do?</em> He kneels and tries to wake Justin up. He shakes him, but he doesn’t open his eyes. “Justin, I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to.” Clay sits against the wall, holding his brother’s lifeless body. He kisses his head and cries.</p><hr/><p>“Clay! Wake up!” Clay is suddenly shaken awake by Justin in the former’s bed. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You just had a bad dream.” Clay grabs Justin and pulls him into a tight hug, and he hugs him back. That’s all that matters to him right now, at least this Justin being alive. “What happened in your nightmare?”</p><p>“It was was fucking horrible...my reflection was evil, and he...he...he he killed you. And I was there all of a sudden, in its place, with my hands around your throat. I...I fucking killed you!”</p><p>“Bro, as I said, it was a nightmare. You didn’t kill me, dude. I know you’ve been through shit, but, you couldn’t ever hurt me. I know you. You are...you, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, timeline-hopping-Clay. I don’t want to have these nightmares again. Everything is just fucked up right now.”</p><p>“Hey, what are you complaining about? You got me, Hannah, and Jeff back, didn’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m glad I have you guys back, I just don’t know why this is happening to me. When I went to sleep the night before driving to Tony’s college, I didn’t expect to wake up the next morning in a completely different universe. Oh yeah, and Tony! I still don’t understand how the fuck he died in this universe. It’s all too much to take in. I can’t handle it.”</p><p>“Bud, it’s alright. I’m with you; we’ll figure this out together. Look, I brought you some breakfast and made some coffee. It’ll wake you right up.” Clay gets up off of his bed and walks to the table in the room and sees a meal.</p><p>“Wow, eggs, bacon, <em>and</em> pancakes? Dad went all out this morning.”</p><p>“Nope,” Justin says with a smile. “I made breakfast. Sit.”</p><p>“<em>You</em> made breakfast? You barely even made a sandwich for anyone in my universe. What gives?”, Clay says back as he sits at the table. Justin pours them both a cup of coffee before sitting across from him, handing him his.</p><p>“Well, my dear Clay, I know you’ve been through a lot. You’ve lost so much. I just want you to have a nice day here with me, starting with a big breakfast. Just...chill, okay? I’m sure your friend Tony will understand if I steal you for a day.”</p><p>“Justin, why are you doing this?”</p><p>“Because I love you, that’s why. You have no idea how close I’ve gotten to this universe’s Clay. When we first hung out together with Hannah, we were basically best friends off the bat. I want to get to know you like I got to know him. Physically, you’re the same person. But you’re completely different people. It’s hard to explain.”</p><p>“I know it is, but thank you. It means a lot to me that you’re doing this. My Justin meant more to me than anyone else ever did, even Hannah. I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks after he...”</p><p>“I get it. And now I’m here to hold you when you do. As I said, I can’t replace him. I may look like him, and sound like him, but I’m not him. Nobody can have what you and that other Justin had. Ever.” Clay smiles, reaching over and grabbing Justin’s hand, gently rubbing his thumb over it. He pulls his hand back and starts eating. “Wow. You taking cooking classes or something? This shit is <em>awesome.</em>” That put a huge smile on Justin’s face.</p><p>“I may have taken some tips from Dad over the past few years. Now hurry up and eat, we’re going to see some movies.”</p><p>“<em>Some</em> movies?”</p><p>“Yep, you heard me. We’re gonna sneak a fuckload of candy and snacks into The Crestmont and watch movies until dark, and when we get home, we’re going to set up a tent in the backyard and roast marshmallows.”</p><p>“Haha, you’re making me feel like a kid again.”</p><p>“Then let’s be fucking kids!”, Justin says, kissing Clay on the cheek. “Hurry up, slowpoke. We have a long day ahead.” Clay only laughs, amazed at how chipper this Justin is.</p><hr/><p>Hours later, Clay and Justin, pockets filled with candy, show up to the theater and go to the ticket booth.</p><p>“You up for an action movie? I heard that that new Spider-Man movie is really good.”, Justin says to Clay.</p><p>“Yeah, sure. Superheroes are cool.”</p><p>“No shit, Sherlock, you have a million comic books.” He then buys a ticket for each of them, and they start walking into the building.</p><p>“Oh shut up. In my universe, you would tease me about it all the time, but I’d always catch you reading them. Granted, you were probably really bored, hidden in my room all day because I didn’t want our parents to know that I went out and came back with a drug addict. ‘Hey, Mom! Look what I found!’”</p><p>“Haha, that would be hard to explain. Did you eventually tell them about me?”</p><p>“No. They found out. Monty de la Cruz broke in and started rummaging through your shit before climbing out the window while you hid. You came out of the closet to get a better look at him, and then my dad came barging into my room with a bat, scaring you half to death.”</p><p>“Monty? Oh, damn. And I was fucked up, wasn’t I?” Clay stopped walking and put his hand on Justin’s shoulder.</p><p>“You got better. Well, until…”</p><p>“Don’t you understand, Clay? He got better because of <em>you</em>. <em>You </em>were the one who dragged his ass off the streets and took care of him. That Justin may have been through some horrible shit at the end of his life, but he was<em> loved</em>. He didn’t die cold and alone in some alley. He died in a comfortable bed surrounded by his family and holding his brother’s hand. You’re a hero, Clay Jensen. A motherfucking hero. Peter Parker has nothin’ on you.” Clay smiled with a tear in his eye, then hugged Justin.</p><p>“I’m so glad I saved him,” Clay said as he pulled away. “It may have been a selfish move to take him home just so he could testify for Hannah, but it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve never felt so much love from another person before, not even my parents or Hannah. I wish I could tell him how sorry am for the way I... treated him this year.”</p><p>“I’m sure he knows that you didn’t mean it. He loved you no matter what.”</p><p>“How do you know that? I mean, I know he loved me, but how can you tell?”</p><p>“I don’t know if it’s coming from the love that I have for my Clay, or if I’m feeling your Justin’s love for you, but I just... know. Let’s just...let’s just go watch some Spidey so you can get your mind off of this for a little while. You need a distraction.” Justin holds out his hand for Clay to hold, and they enter the theater together, smiling.</p><hr/><p>Justin and Clay are exhausted after hours of watching movies. They set up a tent in the backyard and start a fire and sit across from each other.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”, Justin asks.</p><p>“I’m feeling better. I had a lot of fun today.”<br/><br/>“Well, that’s good. You deserve some peace. Now tell me a story.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Where’s the fun in camping if there’s no story being told? C’mon, I wanna see what you got.”</p><p>“Does it have to be scary?”</p><p>“Nope. Just say what you’re comfortable with.”</p><p>“Okay okay… Once upon a time...there was a boy named Percy. Percy didn’t really get along with anybody. He stayed to himself, secluded, in a dark place. He felt so...lost and alone. He desperately needed someone to see him, but he felt that everyone just looked right through him, like he was made of glass. All he did was push people away, because he felt like nobody cared. He was calling for help but nobody heard him...until he met another boy. A boy whose name was Justin.” Justin couldn’t help but give a supportive smile and nodded for Clay to continue. “Justin was like Percy’s guardian angel. He came into Percy’s life when Percy really needed it. But Percy was still so broken and sad that he pushed Justin away too. No matter how many times Percy pushed him away, Justin wouldn’t budge. He stuck around, stayed by Percy’s side. Percy didn’t realize how much he needed Justin until it was... too late. We don't realize how we need things until they're gone. Justin may be gone, but Percy tells him every night that he’s sorry for pushing him away, hoping that Justin can hear him. Percy wants Justin to know that he loves him, and misses him terribly, and would do anything to get him back.”</p><p>“I love and miss you too...”</p><p>“I...I meant the Justin from my universe.”</p><p>“I know, Clay. I’m right here.”</p><p>“What do you mean you’re right there? What are you talking about?”</p><p>“I can’t explain it right now, but it’s me, buddy. It’s Justin, <em>your</em> Justin.”, he says, while starting to tear up.</p><p>“H...how?”</p><p>“As I said, I can’t tell you everything. I have to go soon, but I need you to know that you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. You weren’t yourself when you pushed me away and I understand that. I love you and there was not a moment that I didn’t.”</p><p>“Justin…” Clay is crying now.</p><p>“I know. It’ll be okay.” Justin smiles at his brother.</p><p>“I’m going to get you back. I don’t know when, or how, but I’m going to.”</p><p>“I know. Just promise me you won’t give up. Promise me that you’ll keep surviving.”</p><p>“I promise. I miss you so fucking much…”</p><p>“Me too, Clay. Me too. I have to go now. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Justin, no! Don’t leave me!”</p><p>“Clay, you’ll be okay.”</p><p>“Wait! I love you!”</p><p>“I love you too!”</p><p>Clay then wakes up in the tent, gasping for air. How much of that night was a dream? Did he actually talk to his Justin?</p><p>“Clay, are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?”, the other Justin says, lying next to him.</p><p>“N...no. It was a good dream.”</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’m sure.”</p><p>Clay lies back in his bed and closes his eyes, hoping to meet his brother again soon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Clay and Justin Against the World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Alternate Timeline</b>
</p><p>“You sure you don’t wanna come with us, bud? Just a few errands, won’t be long,” Dad said. He, Alt!Clay, and Alt!Justin are in their living room while Mom’s at work. Dad and Clay are heading to the store to do a bit of shopping for dinner, and they’ll pick up a pizza on the way home for lunch. Justin is lying on the couch watching a movie.</p><p>“Nah, I’m good. Just gonna catch up on my reading in a bit. Remember, only pepperoni on mine,” Justin replied.</p><p>“So, mushrooms for Justin. Got it,” Clay jokes.</p><p>“<em>Mushrooms for Justin,” </em>He mocks back. “Dick.”</p><p>“Boys, language! You’re lucky your mother isn’t around to hear this.”</p><p>“I didn’t even do anything! Justin is just being super sensitive as usual,” Clay whines to Dad.</p><p>“<em>I didn’t even do anything!</em>”, Justin mocks again.</p><p>“Alright, I’m not dealing with you. Let’s go, Dad,” says Clay. They turn to leave.</p><p>“Love you guys!”, Justin says and waves to them. Clay quickly turns around and flips the bird at Justin. Justin flips it back at him.</p><p>After they leave the house, Justin grabs his book from his favorite series: “Lorien Legacies” from the kitchen table and goes upstairs to Clay’s old room.</p>
<hr/><p>An hour passes and Justin is passed out on Clay’s bed with his book laying on his chest. He’s startled awake by banging at the bedroom door. He takes a second to realize where he is, then goes to the door and opens it. It’s Hannah.</p><p>“Asshole!”, Hannah yells.</p><p>“Nice to see you too, babe!”, Justin says back.</p><p>“What? You think this is funny?”</p><p>“What? What’s funny? What the hell are you talking about? Oh, come in.” Hannah shoves past him and sits on the bed.</p><p>“Okay. First of all, you’ve been ignoring my calls.”</p><p>“I forgot it in the living room. I’m not texting people every second of every day, babe. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“That’s not the fucking issue! Were you ever going to tell me that you’re fucking dying?”</p><p>“Whoa, what? Where the hell did you hear— oh, no...you heard the tape. Hannah, babe, I can explain this. God, Clay is gonna kill me…”</p><p>“There won’t be anything left of you for him to kill after I’m done with you. Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“I’m not sick. I was never sick. That voice you heard on that tape...that’s me from...another...universe.”</p><p>“Fuck you. This isn’t something to joke about!”</p><p>“I’m not joking around. Can you just hear me out, please?”</p><p>“Okay. I’m listening.”</p><p>“I met a version of Clay from another universe. A universe where I fucked up everything and you… you and I were dead.”</p><p>“What the hell? I don’t believe you. This is insane.”</p><p>“I know it’s hard to take in.”</p><p>“You think? I just heard a recording of you telling Clay that you’re dying of a disease, and if he’s hearing it, that means it’s too late. How the hell do you think I feel?”</p><p>“I was angry and freaked out the first time I heard it too. I completely understand how you’re feeling. Look, the voice on that tape talked about being homeless and on drugs,” Justin takes Hannah’s hand and kisses it. “Hannah, that is my voice, but that was never me. When was I ever homeless or on drugs? You know that guy isn’t me.”</p><p>“I know. I know. I thought this kind of shit only happened in the movies. What did he… I mean… you… do in that universe? How did I die, and how’d you end up homeless?”</p><p>“That version of me took a terrible photo of you and it started a horrible fucking chain of events. Do you remember when I ran away from home and went to Clay’s place, and Matt and Lainie let me stay there?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“In that universe, Clay and Justin weren’t friends. That Justin had this terrible secret and Clay had proof of it, and Justin seriously hated him, so he had nowhere to go. He lived on the streets, taking drugs, and having sex to make money. But Super-Clay decided to find Justin and bring him home to testify for your death. They got...really close. Seems that in no matter what universe, it’s Clay and Justin against the world. They’re inseparable.”</p><p>“I believe it. You guys really do love each other.”</p><p>“I do. And I’m learning to love that other Clay as if I’ve always known him. You should’ve seen him when he realized I was a real person and not some hallucination. He held on so tightly. It was like if he would’ve let go, I would’ve disappeared forever. I felt his quickened heartbeat, and he didn’t say a word for the longest moment, but I heard his muffled sobs. I didn’t know at the time that he was from another universe, but I just felt like I needed to hold onto him.”</p><p>“Shit. Poor Clay. Oh god, I think I talked to him. The other day, in the car, when you were supposed to pick me up. <em>That’s</em> why he was so surprised to see me blonde.”</p><p>“And I heard he made a move on you. Apparently he and Hannah were in love in his timeline. That moment he had with Jeff at the Winter Formal? In his universe, it was with her. I think he really loved her. Then he lost her, and got attached to Justin, and then he lost him. Poor fucking Clay...he’s in so much pain.” Justin was in tears now.</p><p>“Sweetie, you’re an amazing brother. I know you can ease his pain.” Hannah kisses Justin, cheering him up a bit. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“I’m fine. Hey… our Clay doesn’t know about this. He has no idea. To him, he’s just having memory lapses or something. Can you like, hold onto the tape or something so he doesn’t come across it?”</p><p>“Come across what?”, Clay says, suddenly in the doorway.</p><p>“Clay!”, Justin yells, surprised. Hannah quickly shoves the Walkman in her pocket.</p><p>“Justin! Hey, Hannah. What are ya guys doing in my old room? Oh my god, you didn’t...”</p><p>“Ew!”, Justin says, grossed out. I don’t wanna do it on your bed. I was just reading.”</p><p>“Hi, Helmet,” Hannah says with a smile.</p><p>“Boys! Food’s ready!”, Dad calls out from downstairs.</p><p>Justin stands up and takes Hannah’s hand.</p><p>“Would you like to have lunch with us, m’lady?”, he asks with a posh accent.</p><p>“I would love to, my lord.”</p><p>Justin reaches out for Clay to hold his hand as well. Clay goes to grab it, and Justin suddenly moves his hand and smacks Clay in the chin.</p><p>“Hey!”, Clay angrily yells.</p><p>“What? Why would I hold your hand? That’s gay.”</p><p>“That isn’t… screw you!”</p><p>“Whoa, whoa, Jensen! You and Jeffy could go and do all the screwing you want, but I’ll pass. Thank you for the offer though. I’m flattered.” Justin flicks Clay on the nose and goes downstairs, Hannah behind him.</p><p>“Ew,” Clay mumbles, trying not to imagine his brother like that, before following them.</p><p>“Alright. Bacon and spinach for Clay, and pepperoni for Justin,” Dad says, before looking up. “Oh, hello Hannah. Joining us?”</p><p>“Hey, Mr. Jensen. Sure, if you don’t mind,” she says back.</p><p>“You’re always welcome to eat with us, sweetie. Hey, Clay, why don’t you invite Jeff over as well? I can just disappear for a while and let you guys hang out. It’ll be like a double date.”</p><p>“Dad, we hang out together all the time. It won’t be any different,” Clay says, slightly annoyed at his father’s dad-ness.</p><p>“Call him, Clay. It has been a few weeks since we all ate together. C’mon, please?’, Justin asked, pizza already on his plate.</p><p>“Fine.” Clay gets up and walks into the living room and dials Jeff’s number.</p><p>“Hello?”, answers Jeff’s voice from the phone.</p><p>“Hey, hon. You busy?”, Clay asks him.</p><p>“Nah, just studying.”</p><p>“Studying? It’s summer. Are you too busy to come have pizza with me and the lovebirds?”</p><p>"Hey, Jeffy!", Justin suddenly shouts from next to Clay, mouth full of pizza.</p><p>“Nope, never too busy for you, my lovely," Jeff says, laughing. Clay blushes.</p><p>“Oh, hush. I’ll see you soon then?”</p><p>“I’ll be here in five. Love you.”</p><p>“I love you too.” Clay hangs up the phone. Before he turns to go back to the kitchen, he sees movement through the window. A glimpse of someone in the yard. He would’ve normally just passed it off as someone passing by, but there was something about this person that left him confused. That person…looked like Tony.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Taking a break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi guys. For now, I will be taking a break from the story. It's become too much for me and I need time to clear my head. I will continue this at a later time. Thank you for all the support. ❤</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>